literature

Prelude: Rick Sanchez vs Filthy Frank

Deviation Actions

Published: May 4, 2017

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Literature Text

Wiseguy: Interdimensional Travel, something only those with the wit and th-

Mr. Buldops: Shut the fuck up Wiseguy I ain't doing this shtick anymore!

Wiseguy: Huh?

Mr. Buldops: Today is the day Wiseguy! I finally get my revenge on that drunk stuttering bastard!!!

Wiseguy: Buldops what are talking abo-

Mr. Buldops: I'm talking about Rick Fucking Sanchez! That fucker stole my song!

Wiseguy: Dude what are you talking about?

Mr. Buldops: I'm talking about "Get Shwifty" I made that god damn song, showed Rick to get his opinion, and he fucking stole it!

Wiseguy: That's a pretty big claim there

Mr. Buldops: IT'S TRUE!!!! And today I'm going to get my revenge. I got into this Death Battle bullshit so I could force Rick in a fight to the death with him having no way to escape and luckily for me I don't have to worry about him winning.

Wiseguy: What the hell are you talking about Mr. Buldops?

Mr. Buldops: I'm Talking about the fact that his opponent is Filthy Frank! With Papa Franku as his opponent, there's no way he's getting out of this alive

Wiseguy: I wouldn't count your chickens just yet Buldops, Rick is very resourceful and has gotten out of many sticky situations before. Besides, don't forget it's our job to analyze their weapons armors and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE!

Mr. Buldops: Mmm, fine, but mark my words Rick Sanchez will die!

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Rick Sanchez

First Appearance: Rick and Morty Pilot (December 2^nd, 2013)
Age: 80
Height: 6’2
Occupation: Scientist, Inventor, and Arms Salesman
Affiliation: Smith Family, Rebels against the Galactic Federation
Likes: Science, Booze, Money, Partying, Interdimensional television, McDonalds Schezwan sauce, and his grandchildren
Catch Phrase: WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!
Theme Song:

(Mr. Buldops: WHY THE FUCK IS THIS SET AS HIS THEME!!!!!)

Feats:

- Has traveled the universe and the multiverse
- Was once a rebel against the Galactic Federation
- Has an incredibly vast criminal record across the universe
- Survived an encounter with a Freddy Krueger knock- off with Morty
- Prevented a race of intelligent dogs from taking over humanity shortly after
- Built an amusement park inside of a homeless man
- Out smarted interstellar scammers and made them blow themselves up
- Kept out smarting the devil to the point where the devil attempted suicide
- Later hulked out with his grand daughter Summer and beat the ever loving crap out of the devil as well
- Accidentally destroyed the world by “Chronenberging” the entire population
- Out smarted and beat the crap out of an immortal fourth dimensional being
- Saved the earth from being blown up on an alien reality show with two hit songs
- Managed to charm and have relations with a hive mind entity named “Unity” who assimilated an entire planet (including a Giraffe)
- Created an entire universe to power his car
- Survived a planet's murder festival and then helped to liberate them of their rich oppressive rulers

Physicality:

Strength:
- Strong enough to knock off an alien's arm/claw with his bare hands
- Strong enough to fight large insect-like aliens with just his bare hands
Durability/Endurance:
- Can shake off being punched in the testicles and keep fighting
- Survived getting shot/punctured by a laser from his very own laser gun (Which can easily leave holes straight through people's bodies)
- Could still walk around even with a punctured liver (and keep in mind: Rick is an alcoholic)
Speed:
- Can out run aliens and large monsters on foot
- Can dodge a speeding arrow from a crossbow at close range
- Agile enough to dodge a barrage a constant laser fire
Other:
- Despite his age, he is still remains quite agile, strong, and doesn't tire easily
- Has a lot of energy and stamina
- Seems to have peak human physicality

Intelligence:

- One of the smartest beings in his universe
- Gives out traceable “genius” brain waves that allow aliens to find him
- Counters this by having Morty around, who's brain waves make Rick's invisible
- Has created numerous inventions/gadgets
- Can craft elaborate high tech devices/inventions/weapons in mere seconds
- Can still craft/build with limited resources at his disposal
- Could craft a fully functional working mechanical exoskeleton with just wood and rocks
- Created a powerful space ship from “stuff he found in the garage” (See "Space Cruiser" below)
- Created an infinite microscopic universe to power said space ship
- Is one of the few people in the universe who knows how to make "Concentrated Dark Matter"
- Has out smarted professional alien scammers and even the devil himself
- Can use science to remove curses from objects
- Is incredibly knowledgeable of many alien cultures and languages
- Built a device that allows him to tune into infinite universes for infinite television
- Has built many kinds of weapons including ones that fire anti-matter
- Has created super viruses that infected the entire planet earth in less than a day
- Also has musical talent: Is a skilled musician and song writer
- Claims he can turn a black hole into a sun
- Is skilled with cloning and gene splicing
- Knows how to treat himself from near-fatal wounds
- Can disguise himself if he has to (though some of his disguises are… REALLY obvious)
- Has fourth wall awareness: Seems to be aware that he's in a show and talks to the viewer
Fighting Skill:
- Is good at wielding fire arms: A skilled sharp shooter who can even perform trick shots with ease
- Seems to be adept at fighting bare handed; An experienced Brawler

Personality:

- Despite his intelligence, he has a frat boy attitude and comes across as loud, vulgar, and crude
- Very cynical and has a low opinion about everyone/everything
- Dislikes taking orders from others and dislikes authority in general
- Has no problem killing others to get what he wants
- Acts like a total asshole to everyone he knows including his own friends and family to the point where he seems sociopathic
- Deep down he cares more for them then he lets on and can be very protective (Especially when it comes to Morty)
- Occasionally helps others and makes less selfish decisions
- Is actually depressed deep down

Weapons/Gear:

Usually on hand:

Portal Gun:
- Rick's primary weapon
- Used to make portals so he can pass through dimensions and travel the multiverse
- Can be used to travel from planet to planet
- If a portal opens where someone is standing, it’ll cut them in two
- Can be used to portal water from a distant area to flood an entire room
- Can make more than one portal at a time
- Some portals lead to dimensions infested with monsters who reach out and grab opponents/targets
- Can be fired under an opponent's feet so they can fall into another dimension
- Has a hidden switch that turns it into a bomb that sucks up a small group of surrounding targets while momentarily blinding/disorienting those who see the explosion itself
- If used in excess, will run out of power quicker and need to be recharged elsewhere
- Can be hacked remotely if he's not careful
- Gaseous beings can’t travel through his portals

Ray Gun:
- Standard laser gun
- Can easily blast through human and alien flesh leaving large holes/wounds on their bodies
- Can fire a potent red bolt that can make some one explode in a gruesome display
- Contains a setting to instantly freeze targets as well
- Frozen targets are left vulnerable brittle enough to simply shatter upon falling over
- Has limited ammunition and needs to be reloaded with some sort of magazine
- Has a built in grappling hook

RickFlask by Doctorworm1987

Flask:
- Taken with him everywhere
- Contains an alcoholic beverage
- Randomly takes swigs from it
- Can also use it to spike his own (or some one else's) drink

Watch:
- A beam mounted inside of Rick's watch that seemingly turns people into snakes
- In reality, it's just a trick
- Actually just vaporizes them with a particle beam
- Has a hidden snake holster on his leg which he secretly releases a snake from to create the illusion

Sanchez Ski Shoes:
- Deployed on Rick's feet when he says "GO GO SANCHEZ SKI SHOES!"
- Are rocket powered
- Allow him to get to places much MUCH faster
- Allow him to rocket up walls and slopes

Freezing device:
- Usually kept in his coat pocket
- Can instantly freeze humans upon contact
- Rick needs to get in close to use it and usually sneaks up on people to do so
- Leaves them brittle enough to shatter upon simply falling on the floor

Grappling Hook:
- Exactly what it sounds like
- Allows him to latch onto surfaces and pull himself up

Bombgif by Doctorworm1987

Disintegration Bomb:
- If it hits a target, they're instantly zapped into ashes
- Rick carries very few and can run out quickly

Portable Microscope:
- Usually kept in his coat pocket
- Can zoom to see things on a subatomic level
- Can help him figure out what things are made of if he's not certain
- Also, allows him to see if certain things are dangerous or not

Vehicle:

Space Cruiser:
- Made from “stuff he found in the garage”
- Powered by an infinite microscopic universe known as "Microverse Battery"
- Can fly/hover
- Can travel to different corners of the galaxy within seconds (FTL)
- Is durable enough to crash land almost anywhere with little to no damage
- Contains monitors and interdenominational goggles for scanning through alternate universes so he can find ones that are identical to the one he's currently in and travel to them just in case
- Can dispatch a ray gun that can make things grow to immense sizes (Made a dead naked homeless man into the size of the USA)
- Can deploy hidden laser guns from the back to blast pursuers behind it
- Contains a rather advanced/powerful security system
- Can shoot lasers that can cut humans to multiple pieces in seconds
- Can aim lasers with such precision that it severs one's spinal cord and leaves them paralyzed from the waste down
- Can scan some one and then find crucial information about them in mere seconds
- Can create clones of their loved ones which then melt as a form of psychological warfare
- Has enough fire power to kill an entire army
- The AI has diplomatic expertise, bringing an end to a long time war between humans and giant spiders and making peace between them in less than a day
- Can be car jacked if Rick forgets to arm the security system

Other inventions not normally on hand:

Grappling shoes:
- Allows the wearers to walk on any surface, regardless of the incline or texture
- Can be used to run up walls for easier escape
- Can be used to walk down steep cliffs with out having to worry about falling
- Need to be turned on first before they can work

Combat Suit:
- Deployed from a small FTL pod
- Needs to be deployed from home to use (or he needs to go home himself to retrieve it)
- Rick to send off a beacon from a high place so it can find him
- Takes a few minutes to arrive
- Can make a second suit of armor to share with someone else
- Acts as protective armor to cover his entire body (except for his face)
- Can tank knives, pitchforks, hatchets, and other sharp objects striking it
- Can fire missiles to blow up a whole group of targets
- Can fire consecutive lasers that easily pierces through flesh
- Make him strong enough to easily rip people in two and smash them into pieces
- Has rockets under the feet for flight
- Shoots out a small electric pulse/ray that can immediately stun/knock out another person
- Retractile wrist blades which can easily decapitate people
- Deployable wrist buzz-saw
- Wrist mounted flame thrower
- Have built-in speakers to play music while being used

Time Stopping remote:
- Used as a last resort
- Stashed somewhere in his Garage
- Once activated, it will stop time for however long he wishes until he presses the button again
- Anyone close enough to him will not be frozen
- Time will remain still even for months
- Once time resumes, his "time" will need a few minutes to catch up with him
- Until his "time" catches up, he becomes incredibly brittle and can be shattered upon making physical contact with some one else
- Until his "time" catches up, if he's indecisive, he will split his reality into two simultaneous timelines
- In the process he will teleport into an area outside space and time into the world where everything "is" or "isn't"
- Only has a limited amount of time to fix it before he ceases to exist with either a special device or by killing himself in the other timeline.
- The more indecisive he is, the more the timeline will split and the less time he will have to fix it
- He can also attract the attention of 4th-dimensional beings who will attempt to haul him to prison for messing with time

Other weapons:
- Rick has a large array of other kinds of fire arms at his disposal safety stashed in his garage
- However, it is now known how they differ from each other
- Though they all seem to be as potent as his standard ray gun

Other:

Axe:
- Just a regular old axe that Rick has laying around
- Used to smash the large vats his clones were stored in and hack the clones themselves into bits
- Could most likely be used to do the same thing to his opponent(s)

Meseeks Box:
- With the press of a button, it can summon a "Meseeks"
- Can continuously summon Meseeks one after another with no clear limit
- Can be used by a Meseeks to summon another Meseeks for help
- Possibly not invented by Rick, but merely a device he obtained (as some aliens also have Meseeks)

Mr. Meseeks:
- "I'M MR. MESEEKS! LOOK AT ME!"
- Once summoned, they are commanded by those who summoned them
- They will go to any lengths possible to accomplish any task set forth by their creator
- Afterward, they cease to exist
- However, there are some tasks that are impossible for them or simply outside of their capabilities
- Will summon another Meseeks for help if the task is too difficult for them to accomplish on their own
- Merely existing is painful and strange to a Meseeks, which is why they want to accomplish their task as soon as possible
- Are seemingly immortal and come back after being ripped apart.
- The only way for them to disappear is for them to fulfill their task/command or if the one who summoned them is killed
- Two days feels like an eternity to them
- The longer a Meseeks stays alive, the more it will drift into insanity and try to assassinate the one who summoned them, to begin with
- Can arm themselves with knives and guns

Weaknesses:

- Is still human and susceptible to mortal injury
- Can easily be out muscled and restrained by stronger/multiple opponents
- The more inebriated he becomes, the less rational he becomes
- If his portal gun breaks or runs out of power, he’ll remain stuck/stranded
- Likewise with his car, which can be car jacked if he doesn't enable the security system before hand
- Despite his genius, he is capable of making the wrong choices and can even make things worse
- With out Morty around, his "Genius" brain waves can be picked up/detected by higher life forms
- Doesn't have all his devices on him on hand and might need to fetch them from either his car or the garage

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First Appearance: Youtube video: Filthy shit
Age: At Least 400,000 Chromosomes Ago
Aliases: Papa Franku, b0ss, Franku-Senpai, King of The West Coast, Francis of the Filth, Real Frank, Sniff, The Pussy Master, Mr. Priest, The Ed Wood of Youtube, Filth, Sir Francis of the Filth, Falthy French (Green Cunt pronunciation)
Occupation: Leader of Frank's Clan, Rice Field Worker, Anime Hunter

Theme:

Feats

- Has Been giving out questionable advice since Aug 5, 2011
- Was a loser throughout his high school years (that hasn't really changed with age)
- Has the Swagger of an elephant
- Watched Bambi's mother die
- Shat himself in high school
- Completed the cinnamon challenge
- Is the lord of pussy (Self-titled)
- His shits smell like Pakistan
- Cries when he masturbates (Don't we all?)
- Has a very loose asshole
- Eats his own shit
- Killed a bear
- Knows the smell of his mom's pussy for some reason
- Fought some carrots
- Temporarily caught the hipster disease and became a hipster
- Took a shit on Salamander man for money
- Has farted in his mom's cereal and watched her eat it
- Has a dildo collection
- Participated in an orgy
- Hit a dog on the road
* Wasn't driving, just really hates dogs
- Had a relationship with Magic man?
- Defeated magic man with help of the base god
- Angered the Social networks (Along with other networks)
- Sponsored by Mcdonalds
- Prank called a Harry Styles fan and a tanning salon
- Has conducted many Chin Chin Sacrifices
- Has traveled through many realms and has revealed the universe's secrets to an unfathomable level
- Has respect throughout the realms
- Save Salamander Man from lord chin chin
- Was temporarily kicked out his own house by his friends for 2000 years
- Switched over to another channel
- Shot a horse 6 times
- Chases cats on the road
- Had is house broken into by a pillow man
- Interviewed Selena Gomez
*Was actually just Lemon
- Avoided having to eat Mozuku Wasabi when participating in the MOZUKU WASABI CHALLENGE
- Has drunk almond milk
*Which is actually almond cum
- Avoided eating a Wasabi drink while playing THE BATSU GAME
- Got high from smoking a carrot and lettuce somehow
- Has avoided eating sewage squid and Mozuku/Wasabi/vinegar shot in the batsu game
- Participated in the ice bucket challenge
- Always wanted to be Thomas the tank engine
- Fought and defeated Weaboo Jones
- Had to kill his nigga Pookie
*twice
- Has been researching the mixtape phenomenon for 6 years
- Has better taste in music than most teens
- Has created the best ramen known to man thanks to his newly discovered ingredient, HUMAN
- Has defeated multiple animes
- Created the Winne the Pooh Conspiracy theory
- Gave his laptop a mercy killing
- Found out that Adam Sandler is actually an

inter-dimensional parasite

- Showed E.T a good time
* Drugs, Alcohol, Girls, etc
- Sold drugs with E.T for a time
- Forced Anything4Views to get a Pewdiepie tattoo
- Was banished to the rice fields for a time
- Managed to hide from chin chin for a time
- Defeated Chin Chin and his crew
- Killed his Drone Girlfriend
- Pissed off the Drone Council
- Now has 3 DEATH BATTLE bios on DeviantArt
- A pigeon shit on his head once
- Has died twice
- Has robbed a convenience store
- Was in Vietnam apparently
- Was in a relationship with Winnie the Pooh
- Has dated a broom
- Has fingered a Rhino
- Was born out his mom's ass
- Has dated a laptop
- Was made an official gangster by a black man
- Was forcibly given a blowjob by Santa

Physicality

Strength

- Beat up some pubes
- Beat his dog to death
- restrained and slapped Tit jobs ass
* Titjob is on par with Prometheus
- Easily smacked away the almonds and their protector Steve Buscemi
- Held his own against the like of chin chin, the tap brothers, and some random guy wearing a Teletubbies costume
- Was able to manhandle dade for a time

Speed & Reflexes

- Reacted to Chin Chins ass lasers
- Dodged swords, shuriken and kunai blades, thrown by a Sharingan using Weaboo jones
- Was able to react to and kill, 8 Hatsune Mikus, Naruto, Sasuke, Baseform Eren jaeger, and Asuna
- Capable of dodging blasts shot from chin chin
- Can hold his own against chin chin
- Can react to evil dade's chocolates beams

Durability & Stamina

- Fucked the Narrator for 4000 years
- Survived giving birth to the supreme overlord of your mama
- Has stabbed himself with 2 pencils
- Has stabbed himself with a knife
- Hit with a trash can by Prometheus
* It broke on his back
- Took a beating from Twitter and Facebook
- Shot in the knees by Santa Claus (who was actually a Mexican guy named Carlos Gonzalez robbing his house)
- Was hit in the head with a leek by the original Mr. Negi
- Has been smacked in the face by Prometheus multiple time
- Had a nose hair yanked out by Prometheus
- Been hit with fireworks
- had his crotch burns by a firework
- Has been waterboarded
- Took hits from the shaman
- Swallowed a bunch of pills without dying
- Sat in the nut blaster chair and took multiple fireworks to the ass/nuts
- Took hits from Adam Sandler, an inter-dimensional parasite that leeches off of lifeforms of low intelligence, and his servants Kevin James and Owen Wilson
- Took hits from Chin Chin and a Tap brother
- Survived getting chocolate being puked into his mouth by Evil dade
- Survived getting fruit snacks puked into his mouth by dade
- Survived a drop from heaven

Skills and Abilities:

- A master of roasting
- Capable of becoming a Narrator, a being that can't be seen or touched and can make whatever he says happen
* He only used this once so this may have been a one time deal
- Surprisingly good at playing the ukulele
- Fluent in Japenese
- Has a Ph.D. on severe internet retardation
- Can roar like Godzilla
- Eats ass like a champ
- Clairvoyance
* has had visions of the future in his dreams
- Skilled anime hunter
- A master rat chef
- Regeneration?
* Had his arm punched off but is later seen with a new one
- Aware of multiple life hacks
- Able to speak across the realms
- Able to teleport across the realms
- Able to shoot energy blasts, balls, and sprays that can match and overpower Chin Chin's own blasts
- Can also shoot electricity from his hands
- Can create energy shields
- Can transfer horrific images to people's mind
* Is usually seen with a pink tint
- Was in Vietnam so he must have had some type of military training
- Possible imortality
* Has slit his wrist and died before yet has come back and has claimed to have died at least twice
- Can shit nerds candy
- Can travel to the afterlife (by killing himself) and return himself and one other prson back to life
* Takes a lot of chromosomes
* After doing this he'll be "Pretty weak"

Mindset:

- Will deliver on his promises
*Even if that promise is showing Walrus porn on his channel

- Enjoys drawing penises
- Prone to screaming
- Will do some fucked up shit for free
- Will do even worse shit for money
- Loves Suite life of Zack and Cody and One Direction
* Will punish those that speak ill of One Direction
- Cares about his friends, but will rarely admit to it
- Pretty Racist
* Equally discriminative to all races, everyone gets shit
- Thinks he's a pretty handsome guy
*Lying to himself
- Knows why girls don't like you
*SPOILER ALERT: It's cause you're fat and gay
- A misogynistic, self-loathing, lonely, asshole piece of shit
- Believes in prejudice equality
- Acts like a total fucking retard on the internet because he lost a bet with Mr. Negi
- Hates Drones because he walked in on his Drone Girlfriend getting fucked by a black Drone
- Kills babies

Equipment:

Frank's Closet

- An all-powerful gateway which can teleport Frank and his friends to different places in space and time
- Also used to hold prisoners

A machine gun?

- Shoots multiple bullets with one click of its trigger
- Used to kill a fleeing Mexican and incapacitate Salamander man

Toilet Paper rolls

- Used to defend himself

Stick

- "Anyways Jim how ya doin"

Frank's shirt pocket

- Holds his ravioli, mom's Spaghetti, cheese puffs, sacrifices, etc
- Might actually work similarly to a hammer space

Belt

- Used for whipping and hanging himself

Ukelele

- Can be used as a weapon

Guitar

Reality Checks

- Used as a projectile
- Gives those who are hit by it a reality check
- Can be spammed

Dual Pistols

- Used to kill anime character and people trying to sell their mixtapes
- Capable of one shotting the likes of Hatsune Miku,
Naruto,
Sasuke,
Baseform Eren jaeger and
Asuna
- Seems to have infinite ammo

Skateboard

Switchblade

Shotgun

- Will hopefully

be used to kill himself one day

Speaker

- Plays drake music
- Makes those that hear it feel sad
- Also, makes those that hear it think about their ex

Herpes

- Can be thrown and give people herpes

Drone

- Has to have owned one that wasn't his ex Girlfriend to make an example of what a Drone does

Box cutter

- Was once used to slit his wrist

Kfc Box

- Stop black people in their tracks

Summons

The Basedgod

- Summoned by writing "#TYBG" on a piece of paper than eating it
- Easily destroyed the cancer that is memes and The magic man
- Appears as a multitude of heads
- His music plays when summoned

Frank's piece of shit friends

- Summoned with a scream
- What they'll do is unpredictable
- Can act as a distraction
- Sometimes won't help at all

Pornhub

- Summoned by yelling "poooooorrnnn"
- Transmits a weird video of a not so attractive midget into the minds of people
* This causes those that see this to want to leave

One Direction

- Summoned by talking to Zayn through a poster
- Appears as a multitude of heads
- Can be shot through Frank's hand
- Attacks Frank's enemies and fucks them in the ass
- Will turn on Frank
- Summoning them will bring Simon Cowell to recollect them for his world domination plans
- Is hesitant to summon them

Lord Chin Chin

- Summoned by calling his name
- May choose to ignore his calls
- Must be offered something for his help
* Usually sacrifices

The Demons of Selzar

- Summoned by smearing blood down his cheeks and screaming
- Grants Frank telekinesis

Pink guy

- Summoned by calling his name
- Usually, a messenger, but is a capable fighter
- Skilled rapper

Mr. Negi Generation 3000

- Summoned by rubbing hands together and placing them on the floor
- Is a roast lord
- His roasting skills can range from just lowering one's self-esteem to straight up killing anyone he roasts
- Extends his hand in a roast like fashion and induces flashing images of past events that are roast-worthy within one's life
- A capable fighter

Salamander man

- Can be summoned through a screech
- plays a mean nose/ass flute

The Speed Lord

- Summoned by rubbing hands together and placing them on the floor
- Incredibly fast
- Has a strength of 1000000000000000000

Weaknesses:

- Listening to Nickelback will stop him in his tracks
- He and Chin Chin are currently at odds and would likely not help him at all
- One Direction summon may no longer work since Zayn left the band
- Suicidal at times
- Is batshit insane
- Becomes greatly depressed when insulted sometimes
- Scared of roaches
- Prone to being cheated on
*cucked by a drone
- Hates water
- Eating Taco Bell makes him take an extraordinarily painful shit